Life in 2015 is a hectic and chaotic ride. Two parents are often working long hours, the children are in school by day and enrolled in all manner of sports and recreation by evening when they aren’t cramming for an exam or constructing a replica of Minas Tirith on Minecraft.

As a nutritionist, I am continuously reminded by my clients that healthy grocery shopping and food preparation is both expensive and time consuming. Indeed; in our family there are days where frozen vegetables and fish become the only option when strapped for time. But what about all that pesky chewing? It’s not like you can eat your entire meal in less than 60 seconds so you can get on with you day can you? Or CAN YOU!


I’m about to share a secret recipe that was passed down for several generations by my ancestors; the Elves of Lothlorien. Lebmas bread; also known as waybread (in the common speech) is a delicious bread made from simple magical ingredients and is bound to turn heads when you whip it out of its leaf-wrapping on your morning train commute.

One bite of lebmas bread can fill the belly of a grown man, while a whole cake is sufficient for a full day’s march. To put it into perspective, one small bite of lebmas bread has nearly 300 calories of energy and is replete with vitamins, minerals and even evil-repellant to keep wraiths, orcs, cave trolls and even Gollum from devouring your stash. Moreover, an entire cake has nearly 4000 calories, or the equivalent of 80 calories per gram which is nearly 10x the caloric density of pure FAT! Sure it violates all known scientific laws of nutrition, but hey, this IS magical elven bread we’re talking about.

With just a few simple ingredients, you can prepare enough elvish waybread to fill your family for an entire week. Just imagine all the free time you will have when eating consists of nothing more than a single bite of pure delight.

Join us next time when we reveal how Ent-draught can make you grow taller and even curl the hairs on your head.  

Elvish Bread

Ingredients

2 1/2 cups of magical elven flour
1 tablespoon of baking powder
1/4 teaspoon of salt
8 tablespoons of cold butter (1 stick)
1/3 cup of brown sugar
1 teaspoon of cinnamon
1/2 teaspoon maple syrup/honey
2/3 cup of milk/heavy cream (or more, if necessary)
1/2 teaspoon of vanilla

Directions

1) Preheat oven (or blacksmith forge) to 220 degrees Celcius (425 degrees Fahrenheit).

2) Mix the flour, baking powder and salt into a large bowl.

3) Add the butter and mix with a fork or a pastry cutter until the mixture resembles fine granules.

4) Add the sugar and cinnamon, and mix them thoroughly into the mixture.

5) Add the milk/cream and vanilla and stir them in with a fork until a nice, thick dough forms.

6) Roll the dough out about 1/2 in thickness.

7) Cut out 3-inch squares and transfer the dough to a cookie sheet.

8) Criss-cross (DO NOT cut all the way) each square from corner-to-corner with a knife.

9) Bake for about 12 minutes or more (depending on the thickness of the bread) until it is set and lightly golden.


(the recipe makes about 10-12 pieces of lembas)